Question of the Day- Why are bad things sooo good?

Why is everything that is so bad for you, so darn tempting? And usually so good (in the moment)? What am I referring to? Well, let's see...there's junk food, unprotected (pre-marital) sex, affairs, negative music, driving fast, caffeine, drama filled relationships, staying up late, taking risks (not the good kind), alcohol....I've never tried drugs, but from what I hear, they're quite addictive. Why does it feel that the darker side of universe is constantly trying to kill us? It would literally take every fiber of our being to stay on the straight and narrow and only do things that are good for us, but isn't it worth a shot? Don't we owe it to ourselves? Why doesn't being healthy and safe intrigue more of us to a more sane lifestyle? How much of this has to do with pop culture? If there were no commercials, no music videos, no magazines, no peer motivation, would we inherently want these things, or is our need for these things tied to our need for something else? Acceptance, maybe. Love. Stability. Hmm...we'd probably have those things if we first accepted ourselves and waited for everything to fall into place. Or is there really something to be said for the adrenaline/dopamine rush. Isn't that something a good run in the park or roller coaster ride could cure until you return safely home to your family. Just some food for thought...

Good Decision Making

It is a beautiful day today---and it was hard as hell for me to get up this morning. Then, I ate too much cereal and began to feel a little sick (too much sugar). Anyhoo, it's 12:47 pm and I have the capacity to make this a productive day or to waste it away. I think I'll get off my a**. Thanks for listening. Sorry for the grumpiness.

Beautiful Day

I don't have much to say today, except that I am blessed. I have some great people who are going to write letters of reference for me at the last minute so that I can get into this grad program. I've decided to appy for a part-time social work program. I think it will be good for me. It's something that comes natural to me and that I love, but it's not too much at once. This gives me something to look forward to for the next four years- even if work sucks. Nothing makes me feel better, than when I'm living and fulfilling my purpose. I'm going to rest tonight. I have a very busy day tomorrow, running around doing tedious things like making copies and mailing things off.



On another note, I handled my anger with my mother very well today on a topic that usually causes us to blow up at each other. I was careful not to "injure or harm" as Susan Taylor would say, and the conversation went much better. I am loving this whole "taking responsibility for my actions" approach to life. I have more control over the outcomes in my life than I thought.

The Friend

So, I've decided to go on a semi-TV strike. I've realized I'm much happier and more productive when I'm not watching it. What have I been doing instead? Sleeping! Okay, so sleeping's not the most productive thing I could be doing, but I've been sleeping a lot better. When I wake up, I feel like a million bucks. Last night, one of my close male friends (we'll call him "Michael"-for the purposes of this blog) opened up to me a little and I think he might be feeling something for me; it's weird because I kind of feel something too, but I don't think it'd work. I've known Michael for a few years and we've never really clicked. He's very reserved when it comes to expressing his emotions and/or interest, but he always seems to be around. He's also not very spontaneous or silly-two things I love in a guy, because I think that makes the relationship more fun. He is, on the other hand, very supportive, stable and a good listener. I still get the feeling he's holding back until I give him the cue that it's okay to open up, but right now, it's too confusing to deal with. Maybe we can just act like that moment last night didn't happen and just move on.

In the Valley

I am in the valley---going through a storm---waiting for the sun to come up---whatever you want to call it, I'm going through hard times. Let me give you a brief run-down. I just realized that I've been living my entire life for others---to be considerate, to be as little of a burden as possible. I chose the wrong major (business) for myself, I got a job I hated and ended up being asked to leave. My romantic life is non-existent and I don't really have much money to go out and meet new people, let alone the necessary confidence. I'm in the midst of a wake up call and I just feel completely disoriented. I just don't know what lies ahead of me and I'm scared. Somehow though, I am being reminded that this is all temporary and that everyone hits a low point at some time or another. I just wish I had some direction. Prayer helps me feel calmer, but I still don't know what to do.