I can't believe it's over...

By this, I mean the relationship with the guy, the relationship with my therapist, the good times with my boss, the good times with my guy's friend, the trust for my aunt...I've got to learn to let go. It was never really mine to lose. That's what I've got to understand sometimes is that it's not a loss, it's a reality check. It's hard when there's nothing to fill the void. I want love. I want joy, I wan't freedom. But they come when they feel like it. They operate on their own schedule and right now, they're too busy visiting someone else. That's fine. I'll make due. I still want what I want. I want what's good for me. I want J******. I felt so good in his arms. He really cared for me and I could feel the warmth oozing out of him. I could feel the peace we created around us. I could see our future. He was bigger than me. He was bigger than me, in many senses. Size, presence, spirit, popularity, kindness, charm...He was larger than me. He had the power (the ability) to eclipse me, but he only supported me. I want that. He told me I was a dream come true. I want that. Maybe I should consult a psychic. I am alone...for now...but happily...if it means I don't have to settle...I am finally getting it...I feel a twinge in my belly.