So, I feel like I'm on some sort of plateau, but I can see the mountaintop several hundred feet above me. Part of it is hidden behind the misty clouds and I don't know what lies atop. I'm sipping on my water bottle and I'm drained. My head is pounding. My muscles straining. I'm hallucinating, remembering that time I fell before. I know that this time is different. I have more experience, yet, I don't believe in myself. Suddenly, an angel appears and tells me that I'm getting in my own way--that all I have to do is shift my mind-set. If I could do that, the way would be clear. My steps would be firm. I would smile because of the happiness that awaited me. I would be grateful for how far I've already come...
Recently, I was asked to be the secretary of my alumni association. I've also been doing a good job on my temp assignments, despite the awkwardness of it all. I've even lost a few lbs. I am afraid that I am creating a false sense of security for myself. I need and want to get a real permanent job that won't derail the peace that I have achieved. I'm waiting to hear a word from above, but I can be more on earth to make this happen. I just need more time... (sigh) If only rent wasn't due...
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