Happiness is lonely

You know what I just realized? It's lonely being happy. No one ever wants to be around you when you're happy, but everyone wants to be around you when you're sad. I haven't even been obnoxiously happy lately, but it is driving away a few sourpuss people. I just need to be prepared for it so I can handle it when it happens. I'm tired of being in the trenches---in the valley---I want to get up there to the top of the mountain and if I need to do it alone, then so be it. I just hate being alone. There, I said it. I guess, if God's with me, I'm never really alone. I'm learning so much right now. I'm seeing what my blind spots are--my weaknesses. I need to learn to be careful who I trust. Well, at least I've exed out one of my old flaky work friends who was as miserable as they come. "Your self -esteem is always under attack because they know if you have a strong self-esteem you will move confidently." My pastor said this. (They are threatened.) I depreciate myself so that I'm no longer a threat and then give them control, but what sense does that make? I'm doing it so that they won't attack me. Why would I want to surround myself with people who might attack me if they feel threatened? That's just DUMB!